Extravagance!

God blesses me extravagantly.

At work, I received $40 worth of gift cards for scoring 100% in a mystery shopper test. That was totally random. The mystery shopper could have caught me on a day I wasn't up to form but I did great so thank God! I used the cards for fuel. It felt really good to pay only $2 for a full tank!

At my current place, I've been "upgraded" to one of the inside rooms.

The building I'm staying in is registered as an association and the kitchen where my old room was next to is considered a commercial kitchen. Supposedly, my room was listed as the kitchen storeroom. People from the council came by to inspect the kitchen, including my room, so Aunty Hong made me get up early to pack my stuff and replace them with kitchen equipment, creating the pretense of a storeroom. I was praying they would pass the test as I didn't want to have to do that all over again. And they did. Aunty Hong then said the lady told her to make sure no one stays in the storeroom, so maybe I should move into one of the inside rooms.

It's totally awesome. I've got a reverse cycle a/c & ensuite bathroom. Best of all, it's nice and cosy, not cold. Apparently, I can only stay in this room for one and a half weeks though as some other people are coming and they'll need the place. I'll then have to move back into my old room if I can't find a place by then. Well, whatever, my God will provide. I'm happy to be staying here for however long I can. It's a blessing to me!

Jess and Cheryl's mums have been very hospitable toward me. We slept over at Jess' last night. When I woke up around 11, I discovered that Jess & Cheryl had both left already. Great friends for ditching me.. haha.. So I went downstairs and Jess' mum insisted I stay for brunch. I did and got to enjoy a yummy bowl of prawn mee as while as chatting with them. Yummy, home-cooked meals like that really blesses me nowadays as my current place is fully vegan. Although, I must add, God has also blessed me with the vegan meals. They're still delicious and surprisingly, no bean sprouts have been used so far. Anyone who knows me knows my lifelong enmity with bean sprouts.

I auditioned for the worship team on Thursday. When I arrived at church, my throat felt extremely dry and my voice was creaky and hoarse. So I just prayed. At the end of the audition, I had great comments. Nigel and Rachelle who auditioned me both said it was very good. And what else can I say? THANK GOD. All good things come from above.

I must also add that a few days before the audition, I checked my work roster and saw I was rostered to work on Thursday. That was the first Thursday I ever had to work for the last six months and it had to be on my audition day! I really didn't want to postpone the audition as I'd already been procrastinating for the last... year at least. I desperately wanted to take that step that God had been urging me to for so long and I was afraid of procrastinating yet again.

Trying to get off that shift wasn't easy at first. The only people I could ask were Sam, Kaitlyn, Bryan or Heather. Sam advised me that she & Kaitlyn would be away on a road trip, whilst Bryan & Heather were already out of Perth. So, I just prayed. Surprise, surprise. A day later, I saw Kaitlyn write on facebook that their road trip was off. I asked her if she would do my shift and she readily said yes.

I couldn't have foresaw that. I couldn't have made something happen either.
It was Him. He had my solution. He was my solution.

How good is God!

Will you marry me?

Yesterday I was reading through some married couples' blogs and according to them, marriage is great. I've always been tentative about it, largely because of how I saw marriages around me fail as I was growing up. In recent years, however, God has reshaped my view about marriage and I'm glad to say it is now largely positive.

So last night I was thinking about how nice it would be to be married! Being alone is fine but having someone to share the journey with sounds a lot more appealing. Serving and ministering alone is fine but doing it with a partner sounds fun-ner! Of course, I was thinking these with the knowledge that marriage isn't going to be a breeze, but it's better to take the yacht out and experience the storm rather than miss out on enjoying the sea altogether, no?

The desire for a partner and marriage is healthy, but not when it makes you miserable about single-hood. Last night I was feeling pretty miserable about it. The despicable enemy planted some negative thoughts in my mind. Oh you're never going to find someone, you're so unlovable, what makes you think you have a chance at marriage. I started reflecting on all my failed relationships. The enemy told me lies about how I was the cause of all the failures, that it was because I was so unlovable. And reminded me of how the exes always went on to find someone better, and that's why their relationships don't fail.

What I instinctively did, through my tears, was to grab hold of my Bible and flip it open. I had to hold all these thoughts captive and give them up to God. I had to find His truths to overcome the enemy's lies. I know what I did next was every pastor's nightmare, but yup I randomly opened up a page hoping to find something. My mind was in a whirl and I couldn't as yet think of any appropriate verse.

Then my eyes landed on this.

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."

At this I flipped a page back, I don't know why, but I did. And read this.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life."

Wow. God was in-my-face, speaking right to me. He was telling me to enjoy where I am right now, to realize just how blessed I am to be able to focus on Him and Him alone. One day I'll be married and become involved in all the "nuts and bolts of domestic life" but right now, I'm in that special place where I can focus all my attention on Him. And only God knows how long more I have in this special place... my "prince charming" might come along to sweep me off my feet tomorrow for all I know... haha. Better treasure this time.

I love how the Message says, "God, not your marital status, defines your life". It was very encouraging to me and it reminded me to re-focus, don't let the enemy fool me into believing that I have to be married to be truly living.

I put on Ps. Prince's seminar on love and courtship. It's a 4-part recording that has helped me a lot and I decided to listen to it again. He talked about how in the Bible, there are 2 Hebrew words for "alone". The first is Yakid. Strong's concordance says that Yakid is to be alone, unique and loved. As singles, God says that we are alone (not lonely), unique and beloved of Him. The other "alone" is the Hebrew word Bad, which means without help. Ps. Prince explained that in the garden of Eden when God made man, God said that it is not good for man to be alone, and the alone referred to here was Bad, not Yakid.

He explained further that we should first realize we can and should be happy Yakids, secure and fulfilled in God's love. Adam was a happy Yakid, but God said it was not good for Adam to be without help, and so He made him a helpmate, Eve.

Every time I listen to this, I'm reminded that I need to be a whole Yakid, looking for another whole Yakid. It shouldn't be 2 holes coming together in the hope of being complete, as Ps. Prince said.

Showers of blessing

I was a bit apprehensive about eating next to Uncle Fart again today. I dropped Cheryl off at her place around 5.15pm after a trip to Garbos and wondered if I should go straight home, contemplating the unavoidable dinner ahead. I also thought to myself, crap, now I have to shower in that seriously cold bathroom.

However when I got back, Aunty Hong announced that no one was home and dinner was to be takeaway food that she'd bought earlier. And she said I could actually use the inside bathroom, if I wanted. God is so good! He provides even the comfort that I was hoping to get. The inside bathroom is drastically different from the outside one. It was so comfortable and warm!!! =) Happiness.

What's new?

New experiences today:

1. I took a bite of lamb after Cheryl's parents encouraged me to. I haven't had lamb in at least.. well for as long as I can remember. I hate the smell and taste of lamb. It makes me almost want to puke. In fact I am extremely fussy with food.

2. Using whatever Cheryl had in her home to shower and to wash my face.

These might be nothing to most people but it's a pretty big deal to me! I have always been quite.. 'princessy' and stubborn, as Daryl can totally testify to. I think it might be because I was spoilt rotten as a kid. If I hate something, no one can force me to eat it. If I go for a sleepover I usually prepare my own toiletries as I like being able to use my own products.

I took another step in breaking out of that princess-syndrome! Thank God. =)

It was really nice to take a hot shower and sleep on a soft warm bed at Cheryl's place. Every time I take a shower at my current place, I freeze. It's so cold that I stand there and shiver and wipe myself in a frenzy. My bed is literally rock-hard and underneath the bed sheets, they put a layer of straw mat. You can imagine how comfortable that feels. And my room is so cold that I use 4 layers of blankets. Cheryl's house was such a comforting break from that! Never knew it was such a blessing to have a soft bed and a bathroom where you don't freeze! Thank You Lord for showing me new things everyday.

Blessings Galore

I'm currently staying with the family friend who took care of Terry whilst I was away in Sydney. This place is really like the Buddhist equivalent of a Church. They hold religious services and events here. It is also the residence of a few religious leaders, including my family friend, Aunty Hong. It's a humongous complex with seemingly endless land. There are 3 other dogs here besides mine, Whisky & Goldish the retrievers and Ocher the pomeranian.

I get my own room beside the kitchen. It's a decent room except it gets a bit chilly and the kitchen certainly doesn't smell like roses. However, I'm blessed to have a place to stay. When I arrived yesterday, Aunty Hong and I cleaned out my room. It was stacked full of mattresses and cartons of belongings the previous tenant left behind. So one by one, we moved them into the store room. Then we wiped, swept and mopped and brought my mattress over. It was hard work for 2 women but finally, my room was ready.

Aunty Hong and her 2 other acquaintances have been extremely hospitable. They helped to make a cover over my room door, as part of it was made of see-through glass. Aunty Hong brought me a rug and a sensor light for my room, so that when I switch off the main light, it automatically comes on. They also make sure I have food to eat and tell me I can use the facilities freely.

Of course, there are downsides to this place. Every time I want to leave or come back, I need to tell someone or ring the bell and wait. A big gate separates this compound from the outside world, and it's operated from the inside. It also slides open in a painfully slow speed.

Today, I had to sit next to this old man at the dinner table. He burped and farted out loud several times during dinner, which really made me scramble to find my lost appetite in order to finish my meal. They are vegetarians so I can't bring any non-vegetarian food back. It's also a must to finish whatever's in your bowl. It's part of their religious belief not to waste any food. I also wash the dishes as Aunty Hong is cooking and again when everyone finishes eating. I am learning to have a servant attitude here.

I believe God is using this experience to prepare me.

My parents can whinge about how "clean" I am all day if you allow them to. From a young age, I was greatly obsessed with how nice and clean everything had to look before I would go near them. For example, we would be at a coffee shop and I would refuse to sit down if the chairs looked patchy and old. Once we were in China and one of the restaurants used bowls with gold coatings. Some parts of the coating had come off to reveal the black material underneath and because of that, I squatted outside the restaurant, refusing to go in despite my dad's fury. If ever any sand got into my little shoes, I would kick up a big fuss and demand to be carried.

And here I was tonight, absorbing the pungent smell from the old man as I took another bite of my noodle. Everything in my body wanted to scream disgust and walk away from that table. Jesus was my strength to stay. And I need to get ready. The mission field, or perhaps it should really be called the rest of the world where unbelievers are, may not always be a comfortable place.

I want to get to know these people. They had a hunger for God and thus have been following this "god" that they know. I don't believe that hunger has been filled. They need to know the truth.

I also have a question in my mind. I wonder why we as Christians are sometimes nowhere near as hospitable as these people have been to me. Would we gladly open our homes to someone in need without taking anything for it? Would we be the good Samaritan? We have our reservations. And why is that? I believe it's because we need to take another drink as Jentzen Franklin preached at Hillsong. Another drink of the Holy Spirit. Maybe when we get drunk enough, we'll lose our reservations.

God has blessed me so much. I thank God for loving me, taking care of me.

Back from Hillsong

Because of God, I came back from Sydney hopeful and not hopeless.
Because of God, I am waiting for my breakthrough and not my breakdown.
Because of God, I do not fear.

God is worthy of praise. Hallelujah!

On the last day of my Canberra-Sydney Hillsong trip, I felt fear gradually creeping into every cell of my body. Something in me screamed that I ought to be so afraid. Technically, I am homeless. What could be scarier than having no place to call home? For those few hours, I had a slight understanding of how homeless people must feel.


But something else in me was louder than that voice of despair. It told me to put my trust in the Lord. It told me that even the lilies of the field are clothed by Him. It told me that because He is with me, I do not need to fear.


I decided to go with the voice of hope. And to continuously speak the truth and hope over my life. Where else can I put my hope but in the Lord God Almighty?

In my financial crises, He provided.
That last time I desperately needed a place to stay, He provided.
Why would He not this time?
He is my Abba. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
My Abba who loves me will take care of me.

I am to put His work before my concerns and all these things shall be added unto me.
His heart is for the lost and Hillsong was a fantastic reminder to stop focusing on ourselves and rise together with the Church! It really IS time.

But it all starts on the inside. It all starts with a firm foundation - Christ. If we do not know just how much we are loved and become so secure in that love, it's hard for us to maintain this passion for the lost.

Because He loved me first, I love Him.
Because He loves me, I love His people.