Will you marry me?

Yesterday I was reading through some married couples' blogs and according to them, marriage is great. I've always been tentative about it, largely because of how I saw marriages around me fail as I was growing up. In recent years, however, God has reshaped my view about marriage and I'm glad to say it is now largely positive.

So last night I was thinking about how nice it would be to be married! Being alone is fine but having someone to share the journey with sounds a lot more appealing. Serving and ministering alone is fine but doing it with a partner sounds fun-ner! Of course, I was thinking these with the knowledge that marriage isn't going to be a breeze, but it's better to take the yacht out and experience the storm rather than miss out on enjoying the sea altogether, no?

The desire for a partner and marriage is healthy, but not when it makes you miserable about single-hood. Last night I was feeling pretty miserable about it. The despicable enemy planted some negative thoughts in my mind. Oh you're never going to find someone, you're so unlovable, what makes you think you have a chance at marriage. I started reflecting on all my failed relationships. The enemy told me lies about how I was the cause of all the failures, that it was because I was so unlovable. And reminded me of how the exes always went on to find someone better, and that's why their relationships don't fail.

What I instinctively did, through my tears, was to grab hold of my Bible and flip it open. I had to hold all these thoughts captive and give them up to God. I had to find His truths to overcome the enemy's lies. I know what I did next was every pastor's nightmare, but yup I randomly opened up a page hoping to find something. My mind was in a whirl and I couldn't as yet think of any appropriate verse.

Then my eyes landed on this.

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."

At this I flipped a page back, I don't know why, but I did. And read this.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life."

Wow. God was in-my-face, speaking right to me. He was telling me to enjoy where I am right now, to realize just how blessed I am to be able to focus on Him and Him alone. One day I'll be married and become involved in all the "nuts and bolts of domestic life" but right now, I'm in that special place where I can focus all my attention on Him. And only God knows how long more I have in this special place... my "prince charming" might come along to sweep me off my feet tomorrow for all I know... haha. Better treasure this time.

I love how the Message says, "God, not your marital status, defines your life". It was very encouraging to me and it reminded me to re-focus, don't let the enemy fool me into believing that I have to be married to be truly living.

I put on Ps. Prince's seminar on love and courtship. It's a 4-part recording that has helped me a lot and I decided to listen to it again. He talked about how in the Bible, there are 2 Hebrew words for "alone". The first is Yakid. Strong's concordance says that Yakid is to be alone, unique and loved. As singles, God says that we are alone (not lonely), unique and beloved of Him. The other "alone" is the Hebrew word Bad, which means without help. Ps. Prince explained that in the garden of Eden when God made man, God said that it is not good for man to be alone, and the alone referred to here was Bad, not Yakid.

He explained further that we should first realize we can and should be happy Yakids, secure and fulfilled in God's love. Adam was a happy Yakid, but God said it was not good for Adam to be without help, and so He made him a helpmate, Eve.

Every time I listen to this, I'm reminded that I need to be a whole Yakid, looking for another whole Yakid. It shouldn't be 2 holes coming together in the hope of being complete, as Ps. Prince said.